It may seem harmless at first, just something said after one too many drinks, but what lies beneath is a fear and resentment of female sexuality. In the simplest terms it’s an example of slut-shaming.
Simply put, slut-shaming is the act of shaming or attacking a woman for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings or acting on sexual feelings. You might think that by 2012 all notions of the Fallen Woman and of shaming people for their private sex lives would be long gone — but you would be sorely mistaken.
Slut-shaming is still prevalent, and with women’s rights emerging as a subject of heated debate in the American primaries over the past few months, it has become an even more visible issue.
One of the main issues of debate is whether birth control should be covered by health insurance. Although this is an issue that most directly impacts women, they have largely been absent from the conversation. When Georgetown University Law student Sandra Fluke testified about using birth control, she was quickly labelled a slut and a prostitute by right-wing radio host Rush Limbaugh.
Name-calling is a tried and true method of silencing women and that was what Limbaugh and everyone else who participated in slut-shaming Fluke was attempting to do. For some, a woman who is comfortable talking about sex is a scary thing and opponents are quick to go on the offensive by hurling any insult to try to shut her up.
What is interesting is that there is no male equivalent for words such as slut. Whereas the arsenal for shaming women for their sexual behaviour includes words such as “whore,” “tramp” and “skank,” there is no word to shame a man for the same actions. The absence of a common male equivalent for words such as slut shows society’s perspective on the issue: that men are incapable — that slut is a role only a woman can fill.
The word slut always brings to mind the picture of a woman, scantily clad, because a picture of a slutty man simply doesn’t exist. Words like slut and whore remain strictly feminine, perpetuating the double-standard where men are championed for having sexual encounters with many different partners and women are ridiculed and degraded for doing the same thing.
It’s easy to forget just how much power words have and how much they can hurt someone else. It’s also easy to forget how much influence words have on younger generations. Words like slut and whore aren’t just adopted by adults but are used by girls and boys in high school and younger.
This has negative effects not only on girls but on boys as well. Both grow up thinking that girls need to behave a certain way and adhere to certain codes and if they don’t it’s OK, and almost necessary, to beat them into place with words.
It’s scary to think that a 10-year-old who may know nothing about sex can already bear the label of slut because she doesn’t act a certain way. Kids have a much looser grasp on the meanings of words and their implications than adults do, making it easier for them to fling around words like tramp and skank without realizing the stereotypes and messages they are enforcing.
Sex is personal, and as long as it’s safe and consensual, it’s no one else’s business besides those taking part in it. It doesn’t matter whether your bedroom door is a closed or revolving one; others have no right to judge you for your sex life.
It’s important to remember that words like slut and whore are loaded and bring oppression and a sexual hierarchy with them. A woman isn’t a slut because of the clothes she wears or the number of men she sleeps with. A woman is a slut because society can’t cope with a woman being comfortable expressing her sexuality. Having respect for a woman means respecting her choices and her ability to make those choices and never calling her a slut because of them.
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Image: Donkey Hotey/Flickr