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The five costumes you will see tonight, plus three last-minute ideas you could consider for yourself

By in Culture

Every year people of all ages put their creativity to the test around Halloween. Children revel in the opportunity to dress up and adults find themselves coming up with awesome partner costumes to rope their unwilling significant others into.

Sadly, Halloween also reveals the darker sides of our creativity. This could come in the form of finding yourself at the bar trying to order a drink while two guys dressed as The Dark Knight’s Joker try to outdo each other’s imitation or just finding that you can’t avoid that guy dressed as Tarzan on the dance floor. (Wait, wasn’t he here last year? In the same costume?)

Well in case you are short on ideas for what to wear, try to avoid these as last-minute solutions. Because odds are you will see about 10 versions of them at every bar you go to on Halloween.

Charlie Sheen

This costume seems a bit like yesterday’s news but that never seems to stop people. Expect a lot of bad Charlie Sheen imitations. Even worse, expect to see a dude with a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses figuring he’s got the complete image down.

And don’t say you weren’t warned when he comes up to you and starts spouting random facts about the “tiger blood I totally have, or tiger spleen or whatever the hell it was Charlie said — will you dance with me?” As far as being a warlock for Halloween goes, you’re better off staying home playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Bella and Edward

Expect Bella and Edward to appear more than usual since the fourth Twilight movie is coming out and it looks to be the biggest one yet. Remember what I said about people forcing their significant others into partner costumes? This one is the Count Dracula of those.

Bad vampire jokes aside, it’s going to suck just how much this bloody costume idea will sink its teeth into our Halloween and be a poor reflection of our society’s concept of originality. It’s also terrible just how painfully easy this costume is to do! Just wear pale makeup and sulk —brilliant! And this would be the most common partner costume idea if it weren’t for the next one.

Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort

This one is going to see a huge surge this year since the final movie in the series just came out. Usually you see about 40 Harry Potters on Halloween but, this year, expect to see him paired with his archnemesis Lord Voldemort. It’s a cute idea but it’s going to be so overdone you might as well just stay home and watch all the movies.

Steve Jobs

Straight to the point, Steve Jobs is dead. Pretty tasteless, no? Just wait! It’s also pretty friggin’ lame, too. What will happen is that you will walk into a bar and about three or four people will be wearing Jobs’ trademark black sweater and jeans with a halo and something in his hand saying — wait for it — iDead!

Funny, right? No? Probably not, because you could see it coming about 20 miles away. Personally it had me in stitches — but that’s because I punched that guy so hard my hand required some.

Zombie anything

Annoyed with the past four costumes? Well get ready to see all four of them in zombie form. Costumes have somehow gotten to the point where people believe the absolute fix for an uncreative costume is just to add zombie before it. So everywhere you go, you will get zombie nurse, zombie athlete, zombie bride, zombie bartender, zombie zombie hunter, zombie Rob Zombie.

It’s as unstoppable as a horde of rampaging zombies! And it happens every year. Sure, zombies are scary and popular but that doesn’t mean they’re creative. In fact, by now just the thought of being a zombie-something makes me feel bored. And zombies are pretty dull to begin with, what with the shuffling around and grunting. Before you decide to go as a zombie janitor, think about maybe just being the janitor.

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Three costume ideas you should totally consider

Sometimes you have Halloween costume block, leaving you unable to think of anything substantially inventive. I get it every year, which is why I start thinking about my costume around August. I usually get some pretty neat ideas but they get dropped because I don’t have the time or patience to create them. Perhaps you do! Also, some people are terrified by the notion of people not knowing what your costume is (See: my girlfriend). Perhaps you don’t mind! If either of those is the case, try these.

The Pac Man ghosts – without Pac Man

Sure, dressing up as Pac Man and the ghosts is pretty ho hum by now — just check YouTube — but what about just being the ghosts, on their down time? Think about it. If people ask where Pac Man is, you can just say, “What? We’re just hanging out. Why do we need to be with Pac Man? We don’t even like that guy.”

The Supporting Cast of Star Wars

Forget Luke, Han and Chewie! This year, go with some friends as the characters who left their mark on the franchise in only two or three scenes. Instead of dressing as Darth Vader, go as Admiral Piett. Don’t go out as Boba Fett, be Greedo (but don’t shoot first). Rather than being the plump Jabba, go as the also-plump Jett Porkins! I guarantee no one else will.

Superhero secret identities

Maybe this year instead of dressing as Superman or Batman or Spiderman, you can go out as Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker. Mix it up! Wear their superhero outfit under regular clothes or just be the man behind the mask. It will be original and a guaranteed winner of some “Oh cool idea” comments from people.

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Photo: Bob Jagendorf/Flickr

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