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Fake News: Campus schlep actually really likes new Taylor Swift, derails class discussion

By in Distractions

ARTS BUILDING — While the general response to icon Taylor Swift’s newest album release has been negative, one guy in Philosophy 133 won’t shut up about how it’s a powerful allegory.

Camille Dierkson, a fourth-year kinesiology student, was excited to take the class as an elective. Dierkson said that, while she had been looking forward to learning through peer discussion, the pretentious comments from her classmate turned her off the whole endeavour.

“No one really asked him to offer an opinion; actually, we were talking about Social Contract Theory when he walked in, turned to the guy on his left and started saying he respected Taylor’s bravery,” Dierkson said.

When asked to elaborate on his opinion, Dierkson reports that the student in question responded theatrically.

“He stood up and screamed ‘I’m a feminist’ three times and left the room. I’m still not sure what that has to do with anything Taylor Swift did,” Dierkson said.

Carl Smith, a sessional lecturer who was teaching the class, reports that the whole ordeal took up approximately 20 minutes of class time.

“I tried to steer the conversation back to the coursework, but he just kept talking. At first, it seemed like everyone was just ignoring him until he got it out of his system, but then he said that her music video was a cool, original concept,” Smith said.

The student was reportedly sporting an expensive Swedish-brand backpack, denim shirt and wore his hair in a tight bun. Reports of a man matching this description have surfaced in political studies, computer science and German classes. All sources say he “seems like the type.”

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