[Fake News] Classmate must be having bad day or something

THORVALDSON BUILDING — In a still-developing story, early reports indicate that area classmate Dale Elkas is clearly in a bad mood.

“He showed up 10 minutes late to class, just stormed right in and plopped down in his desk,” classmate Aliyah Hanners said. “Then when the professor asked him about slave autonomy in the antebellum American south, he let out this huge sigh as if it was such a chore just to respond. Something must really be pissing him off.”

Another classmate, Alexa Stefanson, was found to be forgiving of Elkas’ behaviour after recognizing how mad he must be.

“Normally if someone showed up to class late and made a huge production out of it all, I’d think that was super arrogant and shitty of them, but clearly by the way he’s muttering to himself and the way he said ‘unbelievable’ when I smiled at him, we’re all just in his way today,” Stefanson said.

Even the course instructor was left speechless by how fuming Elkas seemed.

“I’ve seen angry before, believe me,” Roger Anterhoff told the Sheaf. “I’ve seen students make a huge deal about how nothing is going their way and how their lives are so tragic. Let me tell you, the way he used a mean attitude to completely shed his own sense of responsibility and make this all someone else’s problem was quite extraordinary.”

At the time of print, Elkas is angrily throwing all his shit back into his backpack and stomping out of the classroom.