The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

Fake News: Students return rested and relaxed after 10 days of losing their fucking minds

By in Distractions

UPPER PLACE RIEL — After a well deserved break from classes, students are coming back to the University of Saskatchewan refreshed and invigorated after a week-long opportunity to frantically study, as well as react in horror to the American presidential election.

For second-year English major Adam Rawling, the opportunity to furiously skim War & Peace at home was a greatly appreciated.

“I was feeling a little burnt out,” Rawling said. “After all, it’s been awhile since Thanksgiving. So to be able to sit in my childhood bedroom for a week with the door closed reading a book was really a great thing. It definitely helped to ease my stress.”

Similarly, Morgan Allen, a fourth-year political studies student, reports feeling much more relaxed after writing two 20-page term papers while simultaneously binge watching MSNBC.

“I definitely felt blessed to be able to rip my hair out while trying to get through the end of this semester, while also watching the United States implode, all from the comfort of my own dorm,” Allen said. “I think having to leave my bed and walk five minutes to attend classes for two hours a day would have really killed my buzz.”

While nothing is yet confirmed, sources have told the Sheaf that in coming years the U of S is considering replacing reading week with a week-long solitary confinement prison sentence for undergraduate students.

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