SERENA WELLAND

There’s a pre-existing notion of what student exchange experiences are supposed to be, but as someone who has had the opportunity, I can safely say it can’t be summed up in a simple cliché.

Most students have this idea of a wild adventure where all you do is travel and do crazy things with new people. However, spending the 2014-15 academic year as an exchange student at the University of Birmingham in Birmingham, England and spending a lot of time by myself has taught me to appreciate the things I never thought I would.

I don’t want this to be some sappy piece where I talk about my journey or give some faux-inspirational advice. I just want to tell my side of the story to help people entering new or scary situations or considering a student exchange.

I was the type of girl who never raised her hand in class and who was so scared that she would consider skipping class if there was a group project. Yet, I loved to travel.

That first day in Birmingham, getting off the train in the pouring rain, I felt like I’d made a mistake — especially after opening the door to my stark white 250 square foot apartment. Who lives in an apartment this small? Why is there only one tiny mattress and no screen in the window?

It wasn’t fun. Looking at your phone and knowing there is no one in the entire city who knows you is scary.

There’s something about experiences like that that force you to look at yourself. When you’re thrown into a situation where you don’t know a soul and there’s no one to come to your door when you’re lonely, you do a lot of thinking. I went for stereotypical lone walks to “ponder” and I even tried writing in a journal.

Those first couple of weeks, I did things I had not done before, like walking 30 minutes to Walmart only to realize I had no way of getting my purchases home. I even went a week without turning on the oven because I felt too stupid to ask how.

Even though it was out of my comfort zone, I decided to go to an international students function where I happened to meet a girl who would become my best friend through the whole experience. Having to make friends when you currently have none is very awkward, but incredibly rewarding.

Classes were difficult — they were 80 per cent class discussion and 20 per cent lectures, which I wasn’t used to. Still, I figured out a way to pull myself up and participate. By the end of the semester, I had some of the highest grades in my class.

I still didn’t have a ton of friends but I slowly found myself looking forward to going home to my empty apartment at the end of the day. I don’t know what changed, but something in me realized that I was on my own and I was doing okay.

Doing an exchange is more about figuring things out on the fly than preparing for everything that could go wrong. I had this idea in my head that I would get there and things would just sort of go my way, but they didn’t.

I had to make opportunities for myself. Before I left, someone told me to do whatever I wanted without being scared because no one knew who I was anyway. That is one of the things I miss the most about the experience; I grew to love walking around and knowing I could do something stupid and no one would ever see me again.

An exchange can be whatever you make it, but if you want to challenge yourself or just get away from the world, it can be the best thing you will ever do.

I came back more confident, more independent and much smarter than I was before. Going into this new school year, whether you are doing an exchange or not,  make this year about yourself, make opportunities for yourself and don’t be scared of being afraid.