How to battle homesickness like a pro, from one homesick fella to another

I moved to Canada two years ago to pursue my Bachelor’s degree at USask. I was young and scared, but I also felt a sense of freedom. It was exciting that I not only got to move out at such a young age but to the other side of the world ? Pinch me now.

It felt like I was in a coming-of-age movie, with my suitcase packed, goodbyes said and ideas for how I would decorate my girly apartment tucked away in my notes app. I remember my mum asking me if I was having second thoughts, and whether I was scared to leave. 

“Yes, I am scared. But it has to be done,” I replied while giving her my most somber expression, imagining the soundtrack of Into the Wild playing as she hugged me goodbye. 

My first four months in Saskatoon were rough. I arrived on New Year’s Eve in the peak of winter. I lived with a woman who was separated from her husband in a nice neighbourhood up North. It took me 20 minutes to walk to the bus stop to get to school.

I learned to use the bus on my own. I learned to cross the streets on my own (in Nigeria we just run across and pray we don’t die). Eventually, I learned to cook my own food, pay some of my bills and make my own decisions.

It has been a difficult journey, one that still has many chapters ahead. For anyone new to the city or fellow international students struggling, I have some tips to help you feel less homesick. I’ll be honest, nothing really cures homesickness except going home, but these things help me feel less alone.

Call your family regularly

Out of the 639 days I have been in Canada, my mum called me every single day, with a few exceptions. Knowing I could talk to her at the end of the day eased my anxiety and kept me centered.

Establishing a routine of regular communication with someone helps you stay grounded. This can be anyone from home: your family, friends you wish to connect with more or even friends you’ve made here in Canada. 

Although I would recommend talking every day and discussing the day’s events, if your schedule doesn’t allow for that, reaching out every other day or on weekends can still be beneficial. The key is to have someone you trust and connect with and be there for them as they would for you. (Fun fact: my mother is calling me as I write this!)

Form a support group

If you are a newcomer or in your first year of university, it’s likely that you haven’t found what I like to call  “forever friends” yet. These are people who you feel comfortable sharing uncomfortable experiences with, confiding in and being supportive of. My friends have been my second family here in Canada. Some of them are international students and we bond over our shared experiences.

Forming a support group involves outlining your most important values in a friendship. These are qualities you would not want to compromise on. They serve as a blueprint for how you would like to be treated, and how you treat others.

The next step would be to put yourself out there. Take baby steps. I remember rushing up to a girl and asking her countless questions in an attempt to be friends, even though I could tell she wasn’t interested. As a result, I scared her off.

Baby steps mean setting goals to talk to at least one new person every week. I learned this from the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz, which is all about making friends. I highly recommend giving it a read.

Be confident, and be true to yourself. There’s no need to put up a fake persona (which I have done) in an attempt to make connections; they can’t be your forever friend if the friendship doesn’t last… forever.

Lastly, don’t be disappointed if not everyone you talk to seems interested in being friends. You can’t be friends with everybody, and sometimes, events align perfectly so that you meet your forever friend when you least expect it.

Participate in activities/events

One thing I regret not doing in my first year was attending events and social gatherings on campus and around town. I am making up for it now, and it’s so much fun having something to look forward to amidst the chaos.

Lots of societies and clubs host events throughout the term, so consider joining those that resonate with you. For example, I volunteer with Let’s Talk Science, where we conduct outreach events to pre-secondary schools around town, engaging in cool science activities. This has helped me work better with children and advance my public speaking skills.

For international students, joining associations of people from your home country or region can help you meet more people who share your background. If you’re African like me, the Pan-African Student Association has been a great way to connect with fellow Africans, and I enjoy the community. There are similar associations like the Indian Students’ Association, Filipino Students’ Association and a general International Students’ Association for all international students.

Besides these cultural associations, there are also the USSU Centres, such as the Women’s Centre, the Pride Centre and the Help Centre. We also have college societies such as the Computer Science Student Society (they play different sports each weekend and host hackathons),  the Health Sciences Students’ Society, the Economics Student Society, and so on .

Pursue a hobby

This is something many counselors recommend to do. When life seems like clockwork with classes and assignments every day, introducing something new to spice up your routine can release endorphins and boost your mood.

Picking up a skill can be beneficial because it helps you meet new people, provides potential income in the future and is simply fun. If you prefer online learning, consider taking a course on platforms like Coursera. The College of Arts & Science also offers some non-degree language classes and art classes in painting, photography and more. 

Additionally, the library sometimes offers workshops in academic writing and research skills. Campus clubs and societies like The Poets Society, The Sheaf Publishing Society and the library’s Virtual Write-ins can enhance your writing and creativity skills. 

De-stress and Practice Self-Care

Just as it is important to check in with others, it is equally important to check in with yourself at the end of the day. Something I noticed recently was that I often ask myself questions like “Are you okay?” and “It’s okay that didn’t turn out as planned, you tried your best.”

Initially, this was a subconscious way of replicating my parents’ voices in my head, a reminder that I was loved by them, even though they weren’t physically present. Now, it helps me be more gentle and kind to myself.

De-stressing can involve taking deep breaths or journaling at the end of the day, which is something that helps me express my thoughts and reflect on my experiences. 

Other ways of de-stressing include exercise, and for those who are religious, it could be engaging in prayer or spiritual practices. De-stressing is any activity that leaves you feeling calmer and level-headed, without harming your body, mind and soul.

In addition to these strategies, self-care is crucial. Designating a day of the week to nurture yourself can be helpful. For me, Fridays are my “rewind days” when I catch up with my friend back home, even if it’s just watching a movie or scrolling through social media together (it’s hard doing this over the phone but we make it work!).

Finally, do not hesitate to seek professional help when needed. If you’re experiencing heavy negative feelings, reach out to Student Affairs. They can connect you with the right support channels, including therapy at the Student Wellness Centre, which has trained psychologists and psychiatrists ready to help.

Visualize your goals and keep track of your achievements 

Recently, I have started visualizing my goals as a way to stay motivated. Amid the difficulties and the challenges that come from being away from home, it’s easy to forget why we embarked on this journey in the first place.

Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Hang up that good grade you didn’t expect to get, or take a picture of something beautiful and put it in an album. 

It helps to write down your goals for the week, month or year and consistently check in. It can be surprising to realize how many past goals we’ve achieved without taking the time to acknowledge them.

You can hang up posters, affirmations and meaningful statements in places you pass by often in your home. When things get tough, these reminders can help you stay to be grateful and motivated. Over time, they’ll serve as a testament to your journey and resilience.

Finally, A Reminder

I want to remind you that you are loved. You came all the way here for a reason, and you are incredibly brave and determined. If you ever need support while navigating the challenges of being far from home, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.