Aries: March 21 – April 20

You will be tested physically as penance for your pizza-based diet in October.

Taurus: April 21 – May 20

Swiped away are all of your worries this month. It’s a trick, though — you’re actually just compartmentalizing subconsciously.

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Right and wrong are usually easy for you to identify, but until the end of Scorpio season, you’ll have a harder time reading the cues of your moral compass.

Cancer:  June 21 – July 22

And when all is said and done, at least you can be proud to be one of the first 1000 to have liked Ariana’s chart-topping subtweet.

Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22

Then is now — seize the opportunity to correct your past mistakes and grovel to the marker of your last midterm.

Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

Left turns are a no-go for you in all hallways and stairwells this month.

Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

“Me time” is only reserved for the people who get their shit done eventually.

Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

On Nov. 22, the full moon marking the end of your season will be a cleansing one — it’s time to wash those cups on the floor of your bedroom.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Read into things with extra zeal this month — surely you can drum up some controversy with what has been left unsaid.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Seriously critique your methods of self-care as the winter sets in — you don’t want to be left defenceless.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

What’s even the point anymore, honestly?

Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20

Give somebody a chance to carry your emotional baggage for a day or two, either to offer a friend some new perspective or to deceptively crush an enemy.