TRAVIS HOMENUK

Technology has forever changed the ways in which relationships begin, function and end. The romanticized bygone practices of courting and love letters have been replaced by one-night stands and sext messages.

Instead of pouring my soul into a love letter addressed to my beloved, I can just send them a picture of my junk and call it a day. Apparently, a penis is worth a thousand words.

Because technology continues to shape the way we live, it is not at all shocking that dating has moved into online spaces. The Internet has made networking and dating easily accessible to all types of people.

Don’t be scared of this new dating world; it’s not that bad!

I want to encourage those who can’t find what they are looking for in more traditional venues to start looking in unconventional spaces. Why wait for your next relationship — or hot, steamy hook-up — to find you when you can find it yourself, online?

I’ve been involved in online dating for three years. I didn’t have real expectations or a secret I’m-so-horny agenda when I ventured into this uncharted territory. I simply wanted to meet people and expand my social network.

For the most part, I’ve found online dating a useful tool for meeting like-minded people. Regardless of your sexual orientation, age or gender, there’s bound to be someone online worth meeting. Whether it’s Plenty of Fish, Manhunt, Match.com or Cupid.com, there’s a website suited to your specific relationship needs.

Online, I get to avoid awkward social interactions that are inevitable when I meet people in real life. I get to present myself however I want — without taking on another and entirely different personality, mind you — and I’m in total control of who I talk to and when I talk to them. There’s never a pressing obligation to pursue an online friend and if I ever get uncomfortable with a conversation I can hit the “block” button and move on to someone new.

Naturally, there are disadvantages to online dating as well.

Stranger danger! That the Internet is full of trolls and creeps should be a well-known fact. Be wise. Be careful. Be logical. If a potential prospect wants to take you for a drive in their truck, or meet you in some random parking lot — to do who-knows-what — then it is probably ill-advised to meet them offline.

That said, there are wonderful people online who are truly looking for connections. I’ll admit I’ve met a few duds, but I’ve also met some good eggs.

If I have encouraged you to venture into the mystifying and exciting world of online dating, here are a few tips to make sure you have a positive experience.

Be picky

Don’t just choose a website at random. Instead, see what the website stands for. If you want to hook up, find a site that offers you promiscuous, X-rated fun. If you aren’t into a conversation, or feel like you’re getting a weird vibe from whomever you’re talking to, stop immediately. Your gut always knows what’s up; listen to it. It will save you stress and heartache.

Be inquisitive 

Don’t be afraid to ask tough, blunt questions online. If potential mates can’t tell you what you want to know in a digital space, they certainly aren’t going to spill the beans in real life. There’s a certain amount of protection that comes from chatting online, so take advantage of that. However, remember to ask questions that are appropriate and within the context of the conversation. If dick or boob sizes really matter to you and this isn’t a hook-up, you might want to check your priorities.

Be honest 

When making an online profile, stay true to who you are! Lying about your age, dick size (which is asked on some websites), weight, body type, likes or dislikes will get you nowhere fast. If you’re looking to fuck and chuck, state that in your profile. If you want love, don’t be afraid to say so.

Be open 

Online dating certainly isn’t for everyone, and it’s still a relatively new phenomenon. There are no rules by which we must abide. It can be a gong show. Staying open-minded will help you see who’s good and who’s bad for you, and sometimes you’ll be surprised — maybe even pleasantly surprised — by what you find. Being picky is still important, but within reason. Don’t brush off a seemingly nice person just because they’re a few years older or because they have an extra nipple.

We all have issues, right? (For the record, I don’t have an extra nipple.)

The most important piece of advice I feel I must offer is this: Do not let online dating change how you interact with people in everyday life. The crucial aspect of online dating is that you’re only supposed to meet these people online. Eventually, both parties involved must meet in person — preferably in a public place — and not knowing how to act around people offline will undo all of the work you put into a relationship online.

I want to emphasize that the act of making the digital relationship a face-to-face one because it’s something I’ve struggled with. It’s easy to stay in the safe space that is the Internet, effectively avoiding all forms of legitimate human contact.

There’s always some excuse to not meet someone, and there have definitely been some wonderful people that I’ve passed up because I couldn’t — or refused to — turn my online friendships into real life connections.

I came to my senses recently and started using the technology of online dating to facilitate my tangible relationships (this is the way it’s meant to be used), as opposed to only ever knowing people in an online context.

It’s been awesome. There was one person in particular with whom I talked regularly for months, but lost touch with because of my refusal to meet in person. I received an e-mail out of the blue from this online prospect the other day, and we’re now going on date number four. It’s weird and wonderful and a little bit serendipitous.

As my mother says, “Open your heart to the world and the world will open its heart to you.” She may be the corniest person alive, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know — and knowing is the best part. Okay, maybe I’m a bit corny too.

My final piece of advice is to throw yourself into the online dating world and see what happens. Technology is definitely changing how our relationships work, so we might as well change along with it.

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Illustration: Samantha Braun/The Sheaf