CHANTELLE BONOGOFSKI
Opinions Writer
As little girls we watched shows where princesses were saved by their knights in shining armour. In such fairy tales, they were whisked off and lived the rest of their lives in perfect happiness never to be sad or angry or feel any emotion other than joy ever again. The end.Â
It all sounds silly to us now, as adults. We certainly know that most do not fall in love instantly and get married the next day. One fairy tale that perhaps has a speck of truth is where a lass has to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find a prince. Even with age and wisdom on our side, most of us cannot kick the equation that a relationship equals paradise.
A couple of weeks ago, my single friends and I sat discussing this issue. Content with focusing on their careers, but willing to give love a chance, they discussed how frustrating it is to find a decent guy. Sitting on a patch of grass with a white picket fence attached, I couldn’t help but feel that whether you are single or dating, there is work involved.
Perhaps a single person’s mistake is believing that behind the picket fence is sheer, unwavering bliss. As ecstatic as I am in my relationship, I would be lying if I said their thoughts were true.
When you are in a relationship (and I am speaking of a mutual, caring relationship), you have to compromise to make it work. For me, that means splitting up holidays that I used to spend entirely with my family to spend time with my boyfriend’s family. This means some of the traditions I have become attached to have to be sacrificed, as do some of his. I could be selfish and do what I wanted all the time, but then I would only be in a relationship with myself.
Fortunately for me, I do not have many compromises to make. I do, however, know couples whose differing ambitions and values often wreak havoc in their relationships. This is why I believe it is important to know and respect yourself, so that when you are involved in a relationship, and you notice that you are losing a part of yourself, you will recognize the relationship is one-sided and needs either to be worked on or ended.
I often wonder, if Cinderella had found out that her Prince Charming had wretched in-laws, a substance abuse problem or was in any way a less than ideal mate, would she have left him? Would she have gotten herself a job and enjoyed the single life for awhile?
Regardless of the situation, a relationship takes work whether you are in one or looking for one.
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graphic: Danni Siemens