DORIAN GEIGER
Sports Editor

Contrary to popular belief, geeks date cheerleaders too; I am evidence of such a privileged relationship.

“How is such a feat possible?” you might be wondering — especially if you know me. I know, I’m pretty repulsive. Some of my friends still can’t wrap their heads around the concept that a cute cheerleader actually acknowledges my measly existence on a day-to-day basis. Let me tell you my tale of perseverance.

Early into my tenure as the sports editor last fall at the Sheaf there was an unforgivably slow week for sports; my week-long scrounging for a piece of newsworthy material finally came to a climax when I saw a Huskies cheerleading tryout poster in the hallways of the PAC. Documenting my cheerleading tryout session in my section of the Sheaf that week, I plunged into a sport of finesse and athleticism. The angle of the article: a tall, physically awkward dude trying a sport he had never attempted before and getting schooled in it along the way.

Despite a valiant yet shaky effort, I failed to crack the Huskies cheerleading line-up. I did however, in the weeks following, begin to romantically see the captain of the Huskies cheer team whom I had met at my embarrassing excuse for a cheerleading tryout. And no it wasn’t one of the guy cheerleaders either. It was then that my immersion into the world of cheerleading began.

My girlfriend made the Saskatchewan Roughriders cheer team last March, much to my pleasure. I was pretty proud that she was going to be a part of the Riders for the season but those feelings quickly turned to elation once I learned she would be receiving two tickets on the sidelines for every home game — tickets that the majority of the time, she promised would be passed on to me.

I remember phoning my dad (a typical Riders fan) shortly after finding out the news and bragging to him about such a luxury that came along with dating one of the Riders cheerleaders. Soon, trivial physical insecurities like my uni-brow and my abrasive body odour were drowned by my newfound confidence. My mentality was such: I was dating a Riders cheerleader and you weren’t. I will admit, it may have gone to my head for a couple days — well, okay, months.

Since my girlfriend has only one brother and her dad is absolutely terrified of watching her perform (my girlfriend’s position is what’s known as a flyer — they throw her a good 15 to 20 feet in the air) I had the opportunity to go watch seven out of the 11 home games at Mosaic Stadium in Regina.

And after a long season of commitments to the Green and White, my girlfriend was granted the rare opportunity to cheer on Canada’s largest football stage at the 98th Grey Cup on Nov. 28 in Edmonton. Deciding to tag along for the weekend’s football festivities (how could I not?) to cheer on both my girlfriend and my favourite sports franchise of all time seemed appropriate. Armed with a trunk full of Paddockwood Brewery beers I made the weekend trek to Edmonton.

I’ve been to a Grey Cup before, in 2004, in Regina. And despite the electric atmosphere a Grey Cup festival boasts, the $9 beer, overcrowded washroom line-ups and the scrambling to get tickets to be part of such an event are enough to keep a guy like me content watching the game from my local pub with a bunch of other guys draped in green. But since my girlfriend was to be a component of the game, I decided it was an opportunity too good to pass up.

The night before the Grey Cup I went to Cheer Extravaganza at Grant MacEwan University in downtown Edmonton. It was a showcase of each CFL franchise’s cheerleading teams. To my shock, I learned that Saskatchewan and the Edmonton Eskimos cheer teams were the only squads who stunted and performed acrobatics in their routines. The other teams were just dance cheerleaders.

The Toronto Argos, Montreal Alouettes and the B.C. Lions’ cheer teams were pretty sexual, to say the least, and aside from shaking their body parts in the crowd’s face, didn’t manage to lift their toes off the ground. Not to say they weren’t pretty to look at — they were, but their athletic prowess and less respectable mode of cheering evidently lay at a much lower level than did the Riders or Eskimos.

In the middle of the Argos’ cheer team’s routine my girlfriend’s dad even looked over at me and mentioned he wanted to book the group of scantily clad women for his next birthday, hinting at their stripper-like status. I’m sure the marketing plan of such cheerleading strategies pays off for teams like Toronto, Montreal and B.C., but it’s much more refreshing to see something that requires a lot of talent to do, rather than just exhibiting body parts like they’re a commodity.

But I’m losing sight of my point; Next time you see a Saskatchewan Roughriders cheerleader or know of one, don’t treat her like a bimbo airhead like the stereotype suggests. The majority of those women are hardened athletes, likely training every day of the week to be at the top of their game. Some people might see them as eye candy, but in all reality these women are some of the most athletic people you meet.

And brutally enough, CFL cheerleaders don’t even get paid. For the level of commitment these girls give to the Riders, the most they receive in return are tickets, some gas money, hotels and some Riders gear. Not too shabby, you might be thinking — but for the countless hours they contribute to the cheer team and the 100-plus promotional appearances they make, it’s just not fair. Compared to the $500 to $1,000 NFL salary cheerleaders make, it’s atrocious. And those girls don’t even stunt either!

Following the Grey Cup loss, my girlfriend’s coach even took back the entire team’s Riders winter jackets (though they had been originally told they could keep them), leaving them without proper warmth for the remainder of the trip. The only restriction I’m not bemoaning is that the cheer team is forbidden to fraternize with any Riders players all season. Phew.

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image: Dorian Geiger