Aries: March 21 – April 20 On the second floor of Place Riel, outside the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union offices, awaits a solitary bathroom sanctuary. #CryCloset

Taurus: April 21 – May 20 Memorial Union Building bathrooms around the corner from the Sheaf office. If you like free tampons and the smell of freshly-smoked weed, this is the bathroom for you.

Gemini: May 21 – June 20 Hidden in Maquis Hall, behind Peer Health is an empty void with a wall of mirrors and concrete sinks. Stalls are hidden in the back. Don’t forget to wash your hands.

Cancer: June 21 – July 22 Urinals, man — they’re all the same, man.

Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22 Staff bathroom: Priest only in St. Thomas More is a holy water closet.

Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22 Hold it ‘til you get home.

Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 Second floor of the Physical Activity Complex behind the Subway. Find the “extra stalls” — no one can hear you pee.

Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 See yourself in radiant light? Health Science bathrooms in the hallway between B Wing and E Wing will illuminate your already-luminous reflection.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 The smell of moss and stagnant water invites you into the jaundiced bathroom of the first floor Geology Building.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 Need a bathroom that meets all your needs? The gender neutral bathrooms in the D Wing of Health Science is the place for you. Make sure you lock the doors behind you.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Let’s be honest, the Louis’ bathroom is as dingy as your soul.

Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20 Like you, the new bathrooms in the Collaborative Science Research Building are a hidden gem.