JACEY FALCONER
Opinions Writer

Have you heard about bush lately? I’m not talking about George W.

Mysterious and exotic, the female “bush” has been an icon for maturity since Eve flaunted her lush forest for Adam in the Garden of Eden.

Trends have changed since the time of Eve and from the 1960s onward. Shaving and waxing the bikini area has become increasingly popular due to swimwear styles and low riding jeans. Just when you think low-rise jeans cannot get any lower, Silver or Mavi release a new style, flaunting the navel even more.

A variety of people believe that removing pubic hair reduces your risk of contracting pubic lice while others simply believe that removing your “pubes” make it look cleaner and neater. However, have you ever stepped back and asked the question, “Why do we have pubic hair in the first place?”

There are multiple reasons why we have pubic hair. First off, pubic hair helps keep the genitals warm while waiting outside for the bus during our frigid Saskatchewan winters; welcome to Sask-a-bush! Besides, this is the last place you want icicles forming.

A woman’s pubic hair is similar to that of nose hair in preventing dirt and particles from entering the body. Honestly, who wants dust collecting down under? Cuts and nicks caused by shaving can also have negative implications since the risk of bacteria and viruses, such as herpes and warts, entering through the skin in these exposed areas increases. Not to mention, pubic hair increases absorption of sweat and odour produced by bacteria, thus keeping your body clean and refreshed.

Pheromones are the naturally occurring scents that a fertile body excretes in order to trigger a response from a potential mate. Pubic hair secretes pheromones, thus increasing sexual attraction.

Think back to your past relationships that have failed miserably. Could it be due to your Brazilian wax or Sunday night shave, thus causing decreased pheromone production? Have you been attracting the wrong partners this entire time?

It has even been reported that the scent of pheromones can increase the libido of your partner 30-fold in comparison to any perfume scent. Britney Spears’s new perfume fragrance has nothing on your natural pheromones. This may also help explain any dry patches without company in the last few months. If you want to find your soul mate soon, you may consider watering the garden once again in order to warm things up in more ways than one.

In this modern era of hair dye, we have the ability to readily change the colour of our hair. From blue to bleach blonde, we even have the option of colouring our hair at home while watching this week’s episode of The Bachelor. Although some people have forgotten their natural hair colour, there is still one foolproof test available: the peek-a-bush. One quick gander by your partner at your decorative rug reveals your true hair colour they have been curious to know.

More importantly, your exotic pubes allow you to differ from a pre-pubescent girl without any pubic hair. Do you really want to look like a 10-year-old schoolgirl? It is not necessary to flaunt the extreme cave woman hairstyle down below but rather a modest style that everyone can appreciate.

Pubic hair is also beneficial since it protects against friction during sexual intercourse and prevents genital irritation that can be caused by sharp stubble or skin-to-skin contact. Have you begun to think twice before starting up the mower to trim your luscious lawn?

Designs such as the Brazilian, the moustache, the heart, or the landing strip have allowed women to accessorize their bush similar to their rings, earrings and other “bling.” Rather than spending $30 or more on waxing, oodles of hours on shaving or increasing your stress with keeping the hedge nicely trimmed, choose bush, choose freedom and choose comfort. Be bold and rebel against the current trend in order to protect your family heirlooms.

Up next, the attention is shifted to the males in order to discuss the question of whether or not trimming the bush makes the tree look taller? On second thought, this topic might just have to wait.

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[Editor’s Note: The photo of an adorable kitten has absolutely nothing to do with pubic hair. It’s just really cute and you didn’t have to see a photo of pubic hair as a result. Win-win.]
photo: Flickr / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0