HAILIE NYARI

Alongside advice for relationships, beauty and fashion, Cosmo has become widely known for its loud sexual content, which seems to have a bias toward outlandish sex —  leading many female readers to think their sex lives aren’t spicy enough.

The magazine boasts hot headlines like “60 Ways to Please Your Man” or “Things That He Only Wishes You Would Do,” and draws the reader’s attention into the magazine’s glossy pages laden with beautiful, half-naked men and women entangled in each other’s arms.

Generally speaking, the magazine teaches women how to please men and not the other way around. Apparently Cosmo believes the onus is on the female partner in a heterosexual relationship to make the sex and intimacy exciting in one way or another.

The advice that is given by Cosmo tells readers about the necessity to be better in the bedroom, making the sex lives of supposedly successful women to be wildly erotic and scandalous. However, the advice is male-focused in that readers are left with the knowledge of how to please current and future male partners, effectively disregarding a woman’s need for sexual pleasure altogether.

According to the majority of Cosmo’s articles on sex, a woman’s pleasure will be realized once she’s successfully gotten off her man. What a bunch of nonsense!

At the same time, some of these sex tips have successfully broached taboo topics and have acted as an explicit guide for sexual adventures — which is positive — but there is still a downside to all of this sex talk.

The responsibility is on the reader as to whether or not she takes the magazine’s sex advice as a supplement to her current love life or whether she views it as something she cannot live up to.

The advice given often preys on the insecurities of women, especially in regards to not being wholeheartedly adventurous or sexually arousing for their partners.

Women should not take the advice of Cosmo seriously, but rather accept it for the fluff that it is. If at the end of the day a sexual encounter is heightened because of a Cosmo sex tip then that’s alright too.

But Cosmo isn’t the only problem. TV shows and movies present women in over sexualized ways, which has in turn affected how women define their individual sexualities.

Through topics like “How To Please Your Man” and “How To Unleash Your Inner Sex Kitten” printed and digital media are suggesting that what women are currently doing is not good enough.

Sex can be a vital and fun part of any relationship, but each woman should have her own inner sex goddess and her own sexual comfort levels; not everyone needs to enact erotica like 50 Shades of Grey — unless red rooms of pain are your thing.

Sex and relationships need to have aspects like trust, respect and honesty. It’s not all about one person’s pleasure or fantasy but the pleasure of all the people involved. Sex is not always the answer; if something is missing in a relationship, the solution may not be about changing your sex life at all.

Ultimately, each woman needs to define her own sexuality. Don’t let a magazine tell you what you need to do differently or that you need to better yourself in the bedroom.

If you want to change up your love life or try something new, look elsewhere. Go to a bookstore or a trusted online site and find something that you are comfortable doing in the bedroom. Have fun, be safe and most of all be yourself.

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Graphics: Cody Schumacher/Graphics Editor