Words of wisdom I wish I’d gotten as an incoming first-year

Starting university is an incredibly daunting experience for everyone. It feels like the moment your entire life has been building up to. Countless hours spent writing essays and exams in high school, volunteering, taking part in extracurriculars, sending out applications, not to mention the culture that surrounds it. 

All of the movies, books, tv shows, conversations with your parents and extended family about where you’re going and what you’re going to do with your life. It’s momentous. It’s a thrill. You’re starting this new and exciting chapter of your life. You’re becoming a person of your own, with your own goals, career aspirations and responsibilities ahead of you. It’s the most insane rush of dopamine and adrenaline one can hand to a teenager — now an emerging adult.  

In this rush, you might find yourself lost and overwhelmed. You might feel like you’re moving ten times slower than the people around you. The classes might seem harder, the grading more unfair. Your friendships may feel like they take longer to stick. The responsibilities you carry might seem to pile up on you. 

It’s important that you realize, sooner rather than later, that it isn’t that big of a deal. You are not alone in this rush. You are not the only one navigating through the uncertainties of choosing the right degree. You are not the only one feeling unsure of yourself. You are not alone in feeling out of place. Almost everyone around you is experiencing some version of the same thing, even if it looks different on the outside.

We build university up to be a behemoth. Something permanent. Something huge. It has a way of making you feel like every choice you make is set in stone. Especially in your first year. Every assignment and exam feels like the most important one you have ever taken. Every bad grade feels like the end of the world. Every weekend spent on your own feels like evidence that you’re doing something wrong, like you’re not doing university “right.”

It’s important that you slow down. You’re allowed quiet nights in. You’re allowed to take it easy. Whether that means taking a lighter course load or a gap semester altogether, it’s fine to take things at your own pace. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care as much about your education as those who don’t. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less capable or ambitious than your peers. It means that you recognize that you are human. 

As a student, you’re juggling your academic responsibilities, extracurricular activities, volunteering, work, personal responsibilities, social responsibilities and your own needs. If it feels like a lot, it probably is a lot. Being tired doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. 

You don’t need to have everything figured out right now. Despite what everyone tells you, and how you might feel, your first year is not the final declaration on who you are or what you will become. You might change your major or change colleges or transfer universities entirely. You might discover new interests or that your skills are way better suited for a completely different career. You might realize that the path you thought you were set on isn’t actually the one that you want. 

That’s completely fine. You’re growing as a person, as a student and as a professional. University isn’t just meant to teach you how to write essays or conduct lab research; it’s about learning how to navigate through changes and uncertainty. It’s supposed to teach you how to adapt to huge life changes you never saw coming. It’s fine if everything doesn’t go according to the plan that you’ve had since you were 13 years old. 

You have to come to terms with the fact that you are now an adult. Things will not always come easily, or when you want them to. University will demand that you think and act differently than you did in high school. It demands more of your time, focus, effort and energy. You’re going to have to work harder now, and since you’re paying for your education now, the least you can do is pay attention to your classes. 

Socially, things might take longer than you expect. Especially during your first year, when everyone is getting settled into their new environment. Unlike in elementary school or high school, you’re not going to be able to easily make friends based on proximity alone. You might meet people you like during your first week and then never speak to them again. That’s okay. You’re not failing socially just because you don’t have the same kinds of friendships you had growing up. It just means that real, lasting connections are going to take longer for you to build.

Get involved on campus, join clubs, go to social events, meet new people. Volunteer in your community, even if it’s intimidating or unrelated to your degree. It’s fine if it’s awkward at first, or if you don’t like it as much as you’d hoped. 

By testing your boundaries now, you’ll learn how to show up consistently for things that matter to you. You’ll find something in common with people whose lives couldn’t be more different from yours. You’ll experience things you’ve never been exposed to before. You’ll meet people who will change your life. You’ll find places that feel like home in spaces you’ve never even heard of. It’ll make a large and overwhelming campus feel smaller. More familiar.

Put yourself out there, even if it’s hard. There’s no harm in trying new things. It’s okay if not everything sticks. It’s okay if you make mistakes. It’s okay if your grades aren’t what you want them to be at first. It’s okay if it takes you longer than you wanted it to. There’s no such thing as wasted time. It’s just time spent doing something else. It’s okay if you switch degrees just to switch back again. It’s okay to leave old friends and make new ones. It’s okay if you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, whatsoever.

Go out and search for what you want — from yourself and from the world. University is a space where you can truly remake yourself, so take full advantage of that opportunity. The only boundaries that exist are the ones that you uphold, so if there’s anything holding you back, it’s yourself. 

Take it from someone on the other side of this experience. Things that felt colossal in the first year are things I hardly think about now. What sticks with you are the little things — the small moments in between classes spent people watching, or rushing across campus. The late-night study sessions that turn into philosophy workshops with five other people having the same existential crisis as you. The people you meet because you decided to sign up for a random workshop on a Tuesday evening. The slow-forming feeling that you are capable of more than what you had thought, and the comfort that accompanies that. 

It will not always be easy, nor will it always be fun. Some days you will feel completely unsure of every decision you’ve ever made to lead you here, and some days you won’t be able to picture what your life would look like if you weren’t in university. These are just two ends of the vast spectrum that is the university experience. 

Take a breath, take your time and please, chill out.