Feeling the pressure of summer job season and finding that you are comparing yourself to others more often? Here’s a list of steps to break out of the toxic comparison cycle.
It is the start of a new year and a new semester! Further, it is also the time that students start thinking about what summer jobs they want to do and where they should apply.
With those thoughts comes a myriad of emotions. Excitement and enthusiasm for the potential future. Some nervousness and anxiety as well. What do people even say in their interviews? And lastly, creeping in and taking up space in your brain is the comparison with what your fellow peers and you are doing. That self-doubt acting like a black hole by consuming you with the question: am I good enough?
Throughout my degree and university experience, the one piece of advice I have steadily received is job experience matters. Having real life practical experience in the industry is important.
With that knowledge I can’t help the pressure that each time this season rolls around I feel on my shoulders. As if I am trying to find the perfect lineup of summer jobs. One wrong step and my entire future is crumbling down. Now don’t even get me started on trying to find a job.
I find myself sitting in the food court in lower Place Riel drowning in this toxicity of comparison. I have a summer job. But what if it would be better to instead have taken on a research project? But it could not just be any research project. This project would have to be world changing, published in multiple journals and receiving many renowned grants. Or what if I had spent the summer working in industry…. maybe a small startup in Saskatoon at Innovation Place or maybe somewhere in the Silicon Valley in California.
As I stew with these thoughts a friend approaches. We catch up and share what we have been up to. She starts to tell me about her job during the school year working at a gym and I am so intrigued about her passion for fitness. I start telling her about the Sheaf and she is left in awe at the student journalism.
This conversation reminded me of a quote by Theodore Rosevelt “comparison is the thief of joy”. There is beauty and inspiration in each of the individual strengths we all have. All of us have different and unique journeys. We come from different backgrounds that give us different opportunities, privileges and challenges. All which shape not only our journey but also who we are.
While most of us understand this idea, often we unconsciously compare ourselves to others. This unconscious comparison can impact your mental health and reduce your self-confidence.
If you are struggling with the pressures that this season brings and find yourself comparing more often than usual here is a list of things that I do to help:
1) Awareness: Most often comparisons happen without us realizing we are doing it. As we mindlessly scroll through Instagram and social media, we find ourselves longing for that perfect hair or skincare routine or job. Try to be more conscious of when you are doing it. Reflect on who or what you are comparing yourself to and the negative impact that has on you. It may also be beneficial to not be in those spaces for a bit of time.
2) Acknowledge: Hand in hand with awareness is acknowledging your feelings. If you find yourself making a comparison allow yourself to feel those emotions and thoughts without judgement and try not to intellectualize your emotions.
3) Focus on the journey: Life isn’t a competition, but a journey. Your life’s journey is not determined by how and what others are doing. Focus on your path and what you are learning and creating. Feel gratitude for all that has led you to where you are, and also acknowledge the challenges that others may have overcome to get to where they are. Lastly, learn to love where you are in your life’s journey and be okay with the imperfections, nobody is perfect.
So maybe we don’t need the perfect lineup of summer jobs. Whatever we choose is unique to us and our current strengths. So dear reader, don’t let the toxicity of comparison slow you down. Instead shine your light on personal growth and self-satisfaction with what you are doing in this chapter of your life.