Dr. Dave Palmer and Dr. Janet Hill are both professors at USask. Dr. Palmer is a part of the department of chemistry and Dr. Hill is in the department of veterinary microbiology. Together, they share two grey cat-bros: Betelgeuse and Atlas, who Dr. Palmer features on his Twitter from time to time.

These two frat-cats were both adopted from the SPCA in March 2020, and were around 4-5 months old at the time of their adoption. Dr. Palmer says that “having them with us during lockdown was great, and they took over my Twitter feed for a while.” That’s actually quite funny, since when I inquired online about what professors I should contact about their pets, probably one of the first replies that I got read something along the lines of “Dr. Palmer’s cats are all over his Twitter.”

Dr. Palmer’s cats are also academics, since they “have attended a lot of seminars and Zoom meetings,” with him and Dr. Hill. Between their owners, I’m sure Betelgeuse and Atlas have absorbed enough academics to just about get a degree. A Bachelor’s in “Litter”ature? Maybe a degree in Corporate C(Law)? Now I’m just thinking of cats dressed up in graduation gowns, with tiny caps with tassels. Aww.. 

When asked about whether he feels that his and Dr. Hill’s personalities match their cats’ personalities, Dr. Palmer  said that he wasn’t sure, but that they “admire their lifestyle of sleeping most of the day, while somehow being amazing athletes.” I admire that too. In a perfect world, I’d have the metabolism of a cat. Maybe in another life, or one of the 9 lives after that.

Dr. Palmer says that the name “Betelgeuse” fits his cat perfectly, and I’m not sure I know what he means by that and I hope to gain more clarity someday. Atlas got his name after he “tried to tip over the globe in [their] living room.” Atlas was only practicing. This time, a globe in a living room. Next time, the literal globe on which we live. World domination! He’ll get there someday, I’m sure.

Also, Betelgeuse likes to lick Dr. Palmer’s face at 4 a.m. However, his owner states that he is “suspicious of anyone who says they don’t like cats.” While I relate to that, the whole “face-licking” thing is unique. 

Dr. Josh, a lecturer of Women’s & Gender Studies and English, makes sure that all of his students know about his lovely young Olde English Bulldogge: Bollard Koloth P. Whifflebottom (Bolly for short). 

Bolly, despite looking “like a rough-tough bruiser,” is a sensitive and cautious puppy who “prefers snuggling and playing at home.” This pup – who is notably named after the legendary Star Trek character, Koloth – has very few similarities to the actual Klingon warrior. Despite me shamefully not having consumed any Star Trek media myself, I’m pretty sure the great warrior Koloth “likes to make pillow forts” like his namesake. Although it is entirely possible that he also steals your seat on the couch when you get up to use the washroom. My dad and this dog are very similar. 

Dr. Josh describes Bolly as “a persnickety old gay man in a British TV show like Vicious,” which is admirable – this is the kind of animal I would like to meet. Bolly loves to nip and play and apparently has a passion for EDM music (this allegedly includes Eurovision, which really makes me wonder if there is actually a human trapped inside this dog. Dr. Josh, if you’re reading this, check him for a zipper). 

Bolly’s free spirited and exciting tendencies don’t extend into his ability to accept change, as Dr. Josh says that “he wants everything just so” and “he doesn’t roll well with the punches.” That’s totally valid, Bolly. You do you.

When asked about whether pets and their humans have personality correlations, Dr. Josh reflected on his last dog, Liza Martini, with whom he related since they shared “similar feelings about winter (ick)” and were both divas. He finished by mentioning that “with a puppy you also get to shape their personalities,” which is very sweet. If only my personality was shaped by Eurovision.