Resolutions in the new year are helpful to a lot of people, but they unfortunately lead to a lot of guilt when we fail to follow-through with them. Let’s change that.

Exercise more, lose weight. Get organized. Learn a new skill or hobby. Live life to the fullest. Save money/spend less money. These are some of the most common New Year’s resolutions according to a quick Google search. It seems like every year the top resolutions stay consistent, surrounding personal health, personal growth and money. It’s humanity’s excuse to press the imaginary “reset” button on our lives. Just because the digit on the calendar is different, you can be too. 

In Sarah Pruitt’s The History of New Year’s Resolutions for History.com, she explains that the ancient Babylonians are said to be the first people to make “New Year’s resolutions”, approximately 4,000 years ago. The Babylonians may not have labelled their festivities as a New Year’s Eve party but they would make promises to the gods to repay debts or return borrowed objects, and essentially be on their best behaviour. It was believed that if the Babylonians kept their word, their gods would show them favour in the upcoming year. And if they did not keep their word, they would be in jeopardy of losing their god’s favour, which could lead to crop shortages or droughts. So, these promises to essentially be better in the new year could be suggested as laying the groundwork for what we now call “New Year’s resolutions”.  

In Ancient Rome, it was Julius Caesar who adjusted the calendar so that January 1^st was the beginning of the new year, back in 46 B.C. The month was named after the two-faced god, Janus, whose spirit inhabited doorways and arches. January had significant meaning for the Romans, as they believed Janus could symbolically look backward into the prior year, and also into the future. The Romans offered sacrifices to Janus and made promises of good behaviour in hopes of reflecting goodness into the upcoming year. I wonder whether their promises of good behaviour ever involved pledging to hit the gym more?

Despite these semi-religious roots, New Year’s resolutions today are not particularly spiritual or religious. In place of making promises to the gods, most people make resolutions for themselves. It has become a very personal practice. Resolutions focus on self-improvement, or the intention of making better personal decisions which may benefit the environment or society, such as recycle more, use less, drive less, volunteer more, and so on. 

At the end of 2022, Hayatullah Amanat wrote an article for CTV News that described some interesting statistics surrounding resolutions. Canadians were found to set an average of 1.7 resolutions each year, and 61 per cent find resolutions beneficial. A survey taken by 1,000 Canadians showed that 29 per cent wanted to improve their personal fitness and nutrition, and 22.3 per cent wanted to reach their financial goals through improving how they handle their money. Interestingly, only 3.9 per cent of Canadians wanted to learn a new skill in 2023. 

Finally, there were 14.1 per cent of Canadians who entered 2023 without setting any resolutions at all. And of those who did set resolutions, close to 70 per cent did not follow through with them. 

With this in mind, it is interesting how often people establish resolutions just to break them within the first week or two of the new year. Why is setting a resolution so compelling, especially when the majority of people decide not to follow through with them anyway? Even with our best intentions, sometimes it’s next to impossible to fulfill these resolutions. And without fail, we blame ourselves and feel guilty for not seeing them through. We end up with immense feelings of guilt and regret when our resolutions don’t pan out or we end up failing to reach set goals within a set amount of time. 

Personally, I’ve set many goals in my life. I’m sure many people can relate to being a successful high school student, then making plans to sail through my degree and begin the dream job of my choice, all while having a flawless personal life. Sadly, things haven’t worked out exactly that way. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of the ups and downs that life has thrown my way, it’s that you need to be kind to yourself — especially when you feel like you’ve failed. One of my favourite biochemistry professors, Scott Napper, once said to me, “Failure only occurs when we lose our willingness to improve.”

So think about some of the big goals you’ve set for yourself, especially the ones that you didn’t reach, and give yourself permission not to dwell on the guilt or regret. Moving on is an important skill to have for personal growth. When it comes to deciding to exercise more, or any other New Year’s resolution, by all means pursue it as hard as you can. But if you don’t finish it quite the way you planned to, factor in a little kindness for yourself. 

Despite our best intentions, planning and efforts, life can still find a way to completely throw us off course. If you need an extreme example, look at how we are all still recovering from the trials of 2020 and everything that resulted due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Life is complicated, and I doubt there is one person out there who hasn’t faced some form of adversity. 

Perhaps this year, instead of focusing on resolutions, we can focus on giving ourselves grace when it comes to reaching our goals. We are often our own worst critic, and yet, at the same time, we need to be our own greatest cheerleader. So what I propose for 2023 is: let us acknowledge that we have the power to become our best selves, but also that betterment has to come with patience, which means that in most cases, it will take more than 365 days.