Aries: March 21 – April 20

In the next lunar cycle, you’ll find new ways to compartmentalize your academic failures.

Taurus: April 21 – May 20

Times and dates are significant to your memory — let today be the anniversary of your rebirth.

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Like a bird, you’ll choose fly away from your strict calendar for a day or two while Venus is in retrograde. Take a dump on any random passerby to embody this transition — it doesn’t have to be figurative.

Cancer:  June 21 – July 22

These days, you’ve been feeling torn between two worlds — the only thing to do now is dismiss reality completely.

Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22

It’s never too late to try capoeira.

Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

Important information is coming your way — keep an open mind.

Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

To quote the Crow, it’s true that everyday is a winding road.

Scorpio:  Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

Consider taking advantage of this tumultuous time in your love life — you can’t find the hypotenuse of a monogamous relationship.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

The ground will freeze soon — dig your grave now, so you can be ready when finals come.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Feelings aren’t often first on your list of things to deal with — if you haven’t gone through an emo phase yet, this is the month to give it a try.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Of all the things you could be doing right, this is what you’ve chosen?

Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20

Others will challenge your stance, but there is no way to prove that Michael Keaton isn’t the best Batman.