Aries: March 21 – April 20
In the next lunar cycle, you’ll find new ways to compartmentalize your academic failures.
Taurus: April 21 – May 20
Times and dates are significant to your memory — let today be the anniversary of your rebirth.
Gemini: May 21 – June 20
Like a bird, you’ll choose fly away from your strict calendar for a day or two while Venus is in retrograde. Take a dump on any random passerby to embody this transition — it doesn’t have to be figurative.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
These days, you’ve been feeling torn between two worlds — the only thing to do now is dismiss reality completely.
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
It’s never too late to try capoeira.
Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Important information is coming your way — keep an open mind.
Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
To quote the Crow, it’s true that everyday is a winding road.
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
Consider taking advantage of this tumultuous time in your love life — you can’t find the hypotenuse of a monogamous relationship.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
The ground will freeze soon — dig your grave now, so you can be ready when finals come.
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
Feelings aren’t often first on your list of things to deal with — if you haven’t gone through an emo phase yet, this is the month to give it a try.
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
Of all the things you could be doing right, this is what you’ve chosen?
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
Others will challenge your stance, but there is no way to prove that Michael Keaton isn’t the best Batman.