The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

Fake News: Bridges a bigger deal than expected: Trolls worried about keeping riddles fresh, turf occupied

By in Distractions

VICTORIA AVENUE — With the opening of two new bridges within city limits slated for the first week of October, it’s clear that Saskatonians just can’t get enough convenient cross-river access points. With traffic expected to circulate in new areas of the city, resident river trolls have expressed concern for future tolling processes.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a more diligent steward anywhere else in the world.  Saskatoon, as the city of bridges, is known to support the livelihood of a small but steadfast and generation-spanning population of bridge trolls.

Though social and technological advancements have allowed many Saskatoon bridge trolls to leave behind their traditional roles — becoming popular Hollywood game-show hosts and even holding civic leadership roles for as long as 13 years — many still rely on more traditional methods of income.

An increase in the number of available bridges does not necessarily mean more available work for the trolls, according to the results of a lengthy interactive survey published by the City of Saskatoon on their website on Sept. 14. Rather, it would appear, the development may displace those trolls without a — hazily defined — reasonable claim to the existing waterway bypasses.

Troll law, still recognized within the troll community, dictates that seniority will ultimately determine a troll’s right to a bridge’s underside and the spoils that come from protecting it. Though certain amendments have allowed for more comfortable working conditions — like fixed hours, holiday pay and dental insurance — strict territory regulations remain.

On Sept. 16, the troll community expressed this concern, among others, in a short media release. They have called on the city to put a hold on construction until all domain disputes can be resolved.

There will be a troll town hall on Friday, Sept. 21 at 3 p.m. under the Broadway Bridge. Attendees are asked to bring several nice coins.

Tags:

Latest from Distractions

Spell #6 by Part Time

David Loca’s sixth official release under the Part Time moniker is a

boygenius by boygenius

Melancholic and soft, this debut release from songwriters Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers
Go to Top