The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

Fake News: Campus coffee-chain location looted, now only serving warm milk

By in Distractions

ARTS TUNNEL — Following a series of attempted break-ins believed to be related, beverage bandits beguiled one popular campus coffee business on Wednesday evening, leaving its shelves shockingly low on stock. Managers are optimistic and are choosing to go about business as usual, despite being unable to meet consumer demands until supplies are restored.

According to a report from campus security, thieves made away with over $900 in ground coffee, pastries and packaged servings of butter. Surprisingly, the cash was left untouched, and all business earnings are accounted for.

Clark Ginter was the first employee to discover the aftermath of the robbery when he arrived for his shift on Thursday morning. Although he says it was disheartening to see his workplace in disarray, he immediately saw the destruction as an opportunity to test out a unique new business venture.

“Milk. Warm milk. People love the stuff,” Ginter said.

Ginter is a fourth-year student in the Edwards School of Business and a morning manager at the coffee-chain location. He says he has been developing a model for a warm-milk bar since he was eight years old.

“My mother used to give [warm milk] to me in a big cup before bed,” Ginter said. “It always brings me great joy — I know there’s got to be more people out there who are crazy about the stuff.”

Ginter says the coffee-chain location will be serving warm milk only until Monday, April 16 when a new shipment of stock is scheduled to arrive. Customers can still order from the regular menu and will be charged as such, but they will only collect cups or bowls of warm milk at the receiving counter.


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