MURRAY LIBRARY — University of Saskatchewan Campus Technical Services announced on Nov. 21 that wireless Internet will henceforth only be accessible if you’re trying to watch TV. According to Geoff Ancilier of the CTS Help Desk, this will revolutionize Internet use on campus.

“A common complaint from students is that their computers don’t always connect to the campus WiFi networks, or that when they do, their Netflix stream looks like shit because some asshole next to them writing an essay has 12 tabs open on their browser,” Ancilier said. “We’re here to give the greatest service to the greatest number of students, and what can we say? Their voices have been heard.”

Another hope for this change is that reduced availability of WiFi will encourage students who feel like studying to stay home and quit hogging all the fucking electrical outlets. Faith Barilko, a first-year arts and science student, calls the change “progressive.”

“This girl used to sit on the couch across from me with all her books on the table,” Barilko said. “I don’t know where she goes now, but these days I’ve got the whole area to myself. I can stretch my legs out on the table. Sometimes I don’t even watch with my headphones in anymore.”

To celebrate the change, the U of S Students’ Union’s Long Day of Luke Cage event will be held on campus on Sunday, Nov. 27.