Q: I am desperately in need of some food. I am starving and all my money was just spent on tuition. Where can I get food/what are some ways I can eat without begging other people? — Garfunkel

Sugar: While not technically food, paper is surprisingly filling and the Murray Library is practically a six floor buffet of books! I recommend you start with the works of Isaac Asimov — that’ll give you something to chew on!

Spice: The old busboy-imposter racket is always reliable. Just put on a grease stained black polo and help yourself to as many unfinished plates as you can at your local Denny’s.

Q: The Arts Students’ Society puts on this free model drawing session for university students, and I’ve been thinking about modeling for it, but I can’t decide if I want to, and if I do, whether I should go full nude or not. What should I do? — Jessie

Sugar: I believe it was Shakespeare who said: “Your body is a wonderland.” You can share it with whoever you see fit without shame, as long as it’s something you choose to do.

Spice: University is no time to have delusions of modesty. You just got out of high school where you had to stand in a circle facing each other and shower. Give nude modelling a shot. Grab life by your balls and get out there.

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