ZACH TENNENT 

Opinions Editor 

At best, eating in class is a mild nuisance. At worst, it’ll launch those around you into an inextinguishable rage or even anaphylaxis. Luckily, by following these simple rules, avoiding the latter is surprisingly easy.

I firmly believe that honesty is the best policy, so I’ll come right out and say it: I think good reasons to eat in class are few and far between. That said, we’re all guilty of doing it from time to time, so we musn’t forget that etiquette is extremely important.

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in class, trying to focus on the lecture or the YouTube documentary or whatever, when all of a sudden your nostrils are blindsided; who even knows what by?

Well, the person eating knows what by and they obviously don’t know they’re breaking rule number one: if your food is excessively smelly — for better or for worse — it has no place anywhere near a classroom. Your egg salad may smell good to you, but that doesn’t mean everyone else agrees with you.

It’s also important to note that the rule goes both ways and still applies even if it’s a smell people tend to enjoy. In fact, it might even be worse if it smells good to those around you, because then you’re teasing them — making their mouths water and then not sharing. That’s just plain bad manners. So, in the future, reconsider packing that thermos of borscht.

This leads nicely into rule number two: hot foods are “not foods.” Smell remains the overall concern with this rule as well, but for slightly different reasons. Thanks to science, hot foods produce steam, which subsequently rises and spreads outwards, slowly encasing the entire room in a veritable hotbox of humid stank.

These steamy food odours will zap your brain of its ability to focus on anything else; how can plain oatmeal be this aromatic? Who eats mashed potatoes in class? Why are you doing this to me?

Rule number three — like number one — also requires you to use your own good judgment: if it’s loud, it’s not allowed. There are so many great places to eat noisy foods: the Bowl, Lower Place Riel, any one of the several benches strewn about campus. Sadly enough, classrooms just don’t fall into this category.

Concentrating in class can be a challenge even when there aren’t distractions. Imagine someone else’s irritation at trying to pay attention over the noise of someone dining. Whether it’s crunching on vegetables, slurping on soup or repeatedly opening and closing a fizzy bottle of Code Red Mountain Dew, these sounds all come together to create an environment where focus is all but impossible.

Lastly, with all other rules and courtesies out of the way, the fourth and final rule is arguably most important: be conscientious of other people’s comfort and safety. The mere smell of citrus, various nuts, seafood and more can cause irritation and even allergic reactions to those with sensitivities.

Taking the highest level of precaution at all times is obviously overkill and expecting everyone to constantly be on red alert for allergies is highly unreasonable. However, it still wouldn’t kill you to wait until you’re out of a crowded classroom to chomp into your PB and J — and it might not kill someone else, too.

With all these rules in place, you may find yourself wondering if there are even any foods left that you can enjoy during class. The answer is yes. Things like chewy granola bars, sandwiches — sans pungent condiments and excessively crunchy lettuce — and dried fruits can be great choices, as can yogurt, grapes and string cheese among many more.

Like I said, we all eat in class from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be respectful and courteous about it. Hopefully, — if these guidelines are followed — no one will be getting steamed over your broccoli.

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Image: Jeremy Britz/Graphics Editor