Zachary Tennent
With hopefully only a short while until Saskatoon’s newest bridge opens, the city is buzzing with name suggestions for it. Every man, woman and child is thrilled at the idea of a naming contest — an opportunity to own the title “bridge namer,” and partake in the event of the summer.
In actuality no one really seems to care that much, and I think it’s a real shame. The new bridge is the first in 30 years and will probably be the last for a while. We should welcome the opportunity to christen it.
We can’t dismissively name this Saskatonian landmark. But where to even start? How does one pick an appropriate name for the latest addition to our fine city’s infrastructure?
Naming the bridge after a person seems logical, but it needs to be somebody spectacular. And if we do name the bridge after someone, what criteria should be used in determining who receives the distinction?
Searching for a person who deserves to have a bridge named after them is troublesome. Even if we could find someone to fit the bill, I question if anyone really deserves the honor of having such a structure named after him or her?
But who in Saskatoon has really done enough to deserve to be in league with Sid Buckwold?
One might think of Don Atchison as a good pick, but I’m not sure he’s well-liked enough for the honour.
As I keep searching for amazing people from the Saskatoon area, I can’t help but feel they already have things named after them: John Lake, Louis Riel, John Diefenbaker. So does that mean we should just name it after a big celebrity who has done bigger and better things? If we go that route, we should have no trouble. Joni Mitchell, Leslie Nielsen, Brent Butt and Kim Coates are all viable options.
But a bridge should have a name that’s a little more exciting and unique.
I’m always one to root for the underdog. And so, without further delay, my official pick for the namesake of Saskatoon’s newest bridge is Rowdy Roddy Piper. And the crowd goes silent because no one knows who he is.
Not only is he the World Wrestling Entertainment legend from Saskatoon, but he is also greatly representative of our fair city’s large Scottish-Canadian constituency.
To name the bridge after Piper would show Saskatoon to be a progressive city, one that can appreciate the achievements of a pro-wrestler right along with those of artists, politicians and hockey players. Plus he wrestled Hulk Hogan, so he has that going for him.
Once this contest gets off the ground, I heartily recommend you give your vote to Rowdy Roddy Piper. Help the underdog prevail!
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Photo: Jordan Dumba/Photo Editor