Well, he was in the belly of the beast. That’s right; he was wallowing in the bowels of the big, angry, intolerant, capitalist beast to the south: the United States of America. Apparently, he liked it too. Had a good ol’ time drinking Budweiser, eating freedom fries and smoking cheap cigarettes, no doubt. He was the boss of Boston, the mascot of Massachusetts, the hero of Harvard.
I would just like to take this time to thank the Conservative party of Canada for exposing this two-timing “Canadian” for what he is: a friend of America and thus a foe of our home and native land. The Conservative party’s attack ads are great for exposing the Liberal leader for what he truly is: a Yankee-doddle and an intellectual dandy. I’m just glad that we have a Prime Minister that hates the States, like the rest of us. Yup… we sure hate the States.
The only thing is, if we hate the States so much why is our government aping the policies of the U.S. government? And why is it that the Conservative party, who clearly hate the U.S. (like any good Canadian should), leading the way? Why is the Harper government (apparently they don’t want to be called the “Government of Canada” anymore) piling money into defence spending while cutting $26 million to crime prevention? Why build huge, American-style prisons? And why, while with the Reform Party, did Harper include an explicitly pro-American clause in their constitution?
The truth is I like America, too. Just like Stephen Harper, I was not telling the whole truth. I was being disingenuous, fibbing, talking out both sides of my mouth, telling tall tales and yanking your chain.
Of course, I suspect that Harper and I like America for different reasons. I like American music; Harper prefers British Invasion. I like The Big Lebowski; he seems like a Raising Arizona guy. I like American Gothic; he’s more of a non-fiction dude. Oh, and I like freedom, while he prefers imprisonment.
Anyway, it’s pretty clear that Harper loves America, maybe even as much as Ignatieff and I do. Hard to say. But what is clear is that Harper also loves spinning a yarn as much as he loves America.