#1:The Nerd Rope

This is legendary and rare; you probably won’t come across “the rope” trick-or-treating because it’s too large for most candy givers. If you do, savour it.

Essentially, it is a sweet and gooey substance surrounded by nerds. But until you’ve had “the rope” you don’t really know how much more you’re getting.

#2:Reese Peanut Butter Cups

Classic and common, the Reese cup will show up at every third house for those of you still trick-or-treating (you probably should stop some day soon, if you’re reading this). It doesn’t really contain peanut butter but it definitely has some kind of peanutty filling.

#3:Rockets

Common as shit and almost as cheap, Rockets somehow manage to impress through their subtle, chalky texture and silly, plastic wrapping. The only downside is that you can damn near choke on these suckers, as they easily turn to dust in your mouth. Have a glass of coke handy in case this happens.

#4:Can of pop

This one’s rare, but if you’re giving them out, you can be pretty sure that your house isn’t going to be egged or toilet papered.

Kids like to poke holes in the tops of the cans, shake them up and use the high-pressure spray to soak each other or wash down excess Smarties bits.

#5:Chester Cheetah Cheetos

Magical. The king of cheezies. And if they didn’t come with a 50 per cent chance of making you vomit, they would be perfect.

If you have kids or you just like eating these a lot, make sure that all hands are kept away from everything else after consumption. The cheese-substance will easily make orange imprints on anything that isn’t already orange. Carve a pumpkin or something; that should be all right.

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image: Tannara Yelland