CHRISTOPHER C. THRESHER
Opinions Writer
Canadian politicians of all stripes, backgrounds and ideologies have long been accustomed to repeatedly persecuting the makers of such fine products as flavoured cigars, cigarettes of all varieties, old fashioned pipe tobacco and even the exotic (and remarkably tasteful) shisha tobacco.
Every last detail has been remembered. Our political elites tax, regulate, tax again, control packaging, reap tremendous profits and then pay for elaborate advertising to alert us to tobacco’s imminent and apparently still unknown threat.
Don’t worry, however: the brilliance that has brought you spending scandals and waste for decades is looking out for your best interests.
Legal adults who purchase a package of cigarettes face the stark reality of their choices every time they catch a fleeting glimpse of rotting gums, black lungs and impotence warnings. The fact that the vast majority of smokers already know they face impending doom should they choose to indulge doesn’t bother anybody. Banning television advertising, requiring each vendor to “shower curtain” tobacco products and issuing an ever present “you will die” message is working.
Of course, what you don’t see are the unexpected results that have occurred because of this perverse method of tobacco control. For what essentially amounts to a sustained campaign of demonization, the government seems to be pleased with the windfall funding it receives from taxing tobacco.
Successive governments have become addicts, craving a never-ending fix for just a few more dollars. In stark contrast to the progress you assumed the government was making, you instead have the classic $25 million photo-op. John Smith smiles, announces he hates cigarettes, hands over a large cheque, snap: problem still not solved.Â
The government, of course, will (and already has) immediately act to ensure cigarettes simply become unaffordable for the average legal-aged adult to purchase. The high taxes have always been lucrative, although revenues have dropped (as with every other controlled vice) as smokers seek out illegal cigarette sales at discount rates.
As a result the average contraband runner has been given a massive share of the marketplace. With no quality control, easily available and inexpensive reservation cigarettes and a large, addicted segment of the market, sales have been very brisk indeed.
Needless to say, traditional regulations designed to prevent youth smoking aren’t really enforced by your neighbourhood cigarette dealer. It would be such a drag to I.D. an already desperate client.Â
Recently governments from across the Great White North have banded together. Tired of only being able to pillage tobacco profits through the usual boring method of death by taxes, provincial governments have become creative.
Why now? Well, those illegal cigarettes that are flooding the market from coast to coast, trickling tax free throughout our nation have stolen the government’s next financial fix.
In order to end this systemic tide, provincial governments have decided to sue tobacco companies. The stated reason is to recover “health care costs” the government incurred in the early ’50s and ’60s when everyone assumed tobacco was just a pleasant indulgence.
The shallow and meaningless legal suit will likely result in a great photo opportunity, quick cash, talking points and of course an increase in the average cost of a pack of cigarettes. This will send even more tobacco enthusiasts to street corner contraband runners — increasing the likelihood of youth gaining access to cheap cigarettes.Â
If you’re not sold on big government’s concern for your welfare, you should consider the hard work that’s currently being undertaken in Ottawa. Currently the Senate is embroiled in a debate over the regulation of flavoured cigarillos, which leading no-fun experts agree is an advertising ploy not to adults who apparently could never enjoy such a product but to small, gullible children.Â
Despite the initial fervor all political parties showed in passing the bill, a small cadre of of Parliamentarians is seeking to limit the legislation from including American blended cigarettes. These cigarettes apparently have harmless flavours such as vanilla, licorice and cocoa.
The leading no-fun expert believes that vanilla and cocoa are not appealing to children — apparently only “fruity” flavours are. Fortunately despite the lunacy of only banning “fruity or sugary” tobacco flavours, the new amendment creates a massive loophole that would allow Canadians to continue to enjoy flavoured tobacco.Â
Tobacco, like many other vices in our society, is a product that has been regulated to the point of turning it into an illegality for many Canadians. The only real alternative to tobacco consumption is gradual public awareness and laws that allow adults easy access to a clearly in-demand product. When politicians concern themselves with aggressive taxation, wasteful ad campaigns and which flavoured tobaccos are acceptable, only detrimental results can occur.Â
Now if you’ll excuse me; I still have one cigarillo left to enjoy.Â
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photo Thomas Lieser