The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

The joys of unemployment

By in Opinions

There’s nothing better than lounging in the sun with a good book and a chilled drink. Iced tea usually does the trick on those long summer days.

There’s also sleeping, reclining and relaxing, all of which are necessary if full laziness potential is to be reached. Doing nothing is even better when you are unemployed.

I have not had any significant stretch of unemployment since I started working part time at age 14. Since then I have worked as a cashier at Wal-Mart, a bag boy at a grocery store and a brief stint as a wedding DJ.

But this summer, I’m taking it easy. The only things to worry about are making sure I get a full 12 hours of sleep every night and tanning my calves. Yet with all the free time suddenly available to me, the possibilities are endless. As a challenge, I have decided to teach myself piano. Or, more accurately, I have decided to let YouTube teach me piano.

YouTube is full of wonderful how-to videos. Everything from moonwalking to playing instruments, tying a bow tie and how to be a ninja can be learned from helpful strangers from around the world. And chances are, they are probably unemployed as well.

Though the chance to be lazy and broke will not be around forever, it is important we all take advantage of it while we still can. Before long, we will have jobs, families and responsibilities and it won’t be possible to waste entire days on learning to throw ninja stars properly.

The reason people look back fondly on their childhood is exactly for this reason; kids have absolutely nothing to do. It’s not that being young and naive was that great. In fact, children really suck. They are short, loud and completely uninformed about absolutely everything. Just try having a conversation with an eight-year-old about politics and you’ll see what I mean.

But what makes childhood so magical is that kids have endless time to do whatever they like. Being unemployed gives you the same chance to be a drain on society and have a great time doing it.

The only challenge is making sure you don’t run out of money before September. When your budget is roughly $3 per day and a Big Mac costs over $4, discipline is needed. One thing is for certain: I am not getting a job this summer. If all else fails, I will start hunting pigeons for their delicious pigeon meat.


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