Conserve your earth: buy a shirt to fill out your excessively large wardrobe.

Real vs. fake environmentalism: we’re too quick to label things eco-friendly

I truly care about saving the planet. But like most people, I don’t like listening to environmentalists. They tend to sound hostile towards humanity. Deep down, some probably want to say we’re all murderers, killing Mother Earth by living in a highly-industrialized world. They may be right. But it’s a closed issue that the Earth is screwed and our fossil-fuel age is largely to blame. Even people who don’t give a shit understand we can’t pollute the Earth so much if we wish to preserve it for the younglings.
Timmies vs. Starbucks

Starbucks, Tim Hortons and my conflicted heart

If you are a coffee addict you almost certainly call yourself either a Starbucks person or a Tim Hortons person. There is no middle ground. When you’re addicted to caffeine, coffee shop loyalty is like a religious affiliation. To me, saying you like both Starbucks and Tim Hortons is like saying you are a Christian and a Muslim. Now, as a Starbucks man, I have once or twice been harassed for drinking Starbucks. In return, I ask people how they can honestly prefer Tim Hortons, given that their coffee is flavourless and maybe one step above the coffee at Chinese restaurants.
There's a couple making out in this picture. See if you can spot them!

Is university the only road to success? Some reasons not to believe in post-secondary education, just in time for finals

Years ago I filled out one of those sociology surveys you occasionally get in lectures. One question asked me, “Why are you in university?” to which I replied, “It beats working.” I still feel this way. Reading textbooks is at least one step above my last job: working in a kitchen. Sometimes I felt nauseous working there — partly because I was cutting up kidney meat while hungover.
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Picking up where the Fabulous Four left off: if you like the Beatles, you might like these bands

Given the pop-culture spectacle the Beatles became, it’s easy to forget the band’s real legacy: creating a musical style (often labeled power-pop) that has forever changed pop music. The Beatles additionally inspired numerous bands that, while partially being Beatles knockoffs, are remarkable talents in their own right. Whether you’re only into the Beatles’ radio hits or their druggier songs, you’re bound to love something on this list of Beatles-esque bands.
Everyday flu, or ultra mega weapon?

How to make a deadly virus: scientists fail to treat H5N1 like the WMD that it is

Western media love hyping the threat posed by the various nuclear programs of “evil” nations like North Korea and Iran. And although the reporting is sensational at times, history proves that nuclear weapons can produce megadeath and that every measure should be taken to prevent their use. So I find it strange that a weapon even more lethal than the nuclear bomb is being developed and has yet to garner much attention. Scientists in the U.S. and Netherlands have recently created a mutation of the H5N1 virus that, if unleashed, could kill hundreds of millions of people.
That's one funky riff... Of despair.

The music world gets worse every year, and we’re largely to blame

Do you love music? Well, do you love music enough to pay for it? Or even sit down and listen to an album for 30 minutes? In 2012, not many people can answer these questions affirmatively. Thanks to our digital gizmos, we hardly ever sit down and listen to full albums anymore. The inattention of our playlist era is telling bands and companies to focus on individual “hits,” which are instant cash cows. Hit-making now trumps the industry’s old model of signing bands that made great albums. And the music industry’s growing emphasis on quick returns has done away with another virtue of labels: letting bands slowly develop their sound and fan-base.
Locked in perpetual mortal combat, this crafty cat briefly seizes the upper paw.

Quiet dignitary or needy best friend: why cats are better pets than dogs

We are told from a young age that dogs are “man’s best friend.” This is hardly true. A real best friend challenges your decisions and criticizes you when you’re being an idiot. But dogs act more like “man’s desperate sidekick” — they are the Milhouse to your Bart. Dogs seem to beg their owners, “Do you have a best friend yet? ’Cause I’ve been looking for someone to boss me around.” Winston Churchill was right when he said that dogs look up to us while cats look down on us. So people who want to be worshipped get a dog. People who want to grow and learn to deal with a sovereign creature will get a cat.
Police Plane

Stop fuelling the madness: Saskatoon Police plane is a waste of money

I wouldn’t normally say local police waste our money on grossly incompetent staff or services. It’s not like they ever had sex on duty or threw people outside the city in lethally cold weather. But this plane they’ve been joyriding since 2005 is a ridiculous money pit.
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Life without modern technology: a weekend experiment to travel back to 1962

For years I’ve held a strong belief that, given two products, the older one is probably cooler, more authentic and better made. So I cling to the past whenever I can. Being fed up with this my brother told me, “Mike, you can’t pretend you’re living in the ’60s.” — which is precisely what I did all weekend. And when it came time to write up this article, I thought I'd try something a little bit different.
Creative genius or bridge-screaming lunatic?

Mood disorders and the creative mind: does mental illness lead to creative insights?

Aristotle once said that “no great genius ever existed without some touch of madness.” People are rarely surprised when they hear an artist took copious amounts of drugs or committed suicide. And when it happens, the media loves to mythologize that artist as “a misunderstood genius.” As a result, we end up thinking that creativity and mental illness are inevitably linked. Perusing my bookshelf and music collection, I do see overwhelming evidence that artists are more susceptible to mood disorders. But are their illnesses making them creative, or are mood and creativity not causally linked; or could mood disorders actually stifle creativity?
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Why it’s hard asking out someone from class

“I’m only here for the girls.” I’ll never forget reading this graffiti on my desk years ago. It was like some great poem; phrased with elegant simplicity and delivering a telling message about the human condition. Our classes are filled with attractive, intelligent and — most importantly — available students. It’s one of the major perks of attending university. But from my personal experience, it’s actually quite difficult asking out classmates.
To continue the anal-centric theme: that fountain would make one hell of a bidet.

Going to the mall is like a scary amusement park ride, except the lines are worse and it’s more expensive

I hate the mall. Given the choice between going to the mall and taking an anal suppository, I would take the bum pill. It seems better to literally stick something up my ass than feel the deeper, more metaphorical ass-probing I’m treated to at the mall. I don’t believe a fun trip to the mall exists. When I find the product I came for, I leave with buyer’s regret; when I leave empty-handed, I feel I wasted the day — brainwashing myself by staring at consumer goods for hours on end. I always leave thinking I would have been better off spending my time reading, walking or, yes, even inserting a pill up my bum.