You’ve finally made it. You've just started university. Not only do you have every single person around you hounding you with questions like, “What are you going to be?” or, “Do you have a plan?” but you also have your own worries about your schedule, not being the dumb kid in class and the list of textbooks you need to buy. Pay attention, new students. Here are some helpful tips to get you through the first few weeks.
There are a lot of myths and misinformation about sex. But think about it guys: did you ever get those hairy palms you were promised? In reality, sex is the answer to many of our problems, helping with mental health, body issues and confidence. It’s time to debunk the rumours and go deep under the sheets. Sex is healthy and natural; it may be condemned by some because it’s not always within a marriage, but 79 per cent of you are already doing the deed so you might as well do it for the right reasons. But if you’re not doing it, don’t feel pressured. I only want to offer some things to remember so that when you do start, you can have an excuse to do it whenever or for whatever reason.
All students have experienced those pesky fire drills. We’ve all heard them, interrupting our conversations, causing a momentary lapse into awkward and questioning silence. It’s not always annoyance, however, that makes us stop and listen. Usually, you wonder if the fire drill is signalling something real. As of last Wednesday, my thoughts on fire drills have completely changed. Sitting in my 9 a.m. class, I was rudely awakened by what I thought was just another drill. It wasn’t. There was a small fire in the food court of Place Riel.
Being a college student is fucking stressful. Risking thousands of dollars on late-night cram sessions and last-minute essays can leave students feeling powerless and result in alcohol and drug addiction and, occasionally, suicidal thoughts. But as bad as it feels to bomb an exam or blow an assignment, there are services for students that can provide support.
Addiction. That’s right; I’m calling all phone users on it. You’re addicted. I know you’re probably raising your eyebrows at me right now. I’m sure I would be too if I hadn’t given this subject some thought. But this isn’t a lecture to all you texters about how phone use is bad for you or how you have lost all ability to directly communicate with real people.