ARTS BUILDING — While area English major Ansel MacPherson always wanted to study accounting, he was moved to switch after a profound experience reading a poem on the wall of an Edwards School of Business bathroom stall.

“I had never been so moved by a poem,” MacPherson said. “I didn’t know words could be so affecting. One stanza in particular I committed to memory and I know I’ll never forget it: ‘Roses are red/ girlie so groovy/ Mike Myers wasn’t even the worst part of that shit-ass Cat in the Hat movie.’”

MacPherson reports that his recent infatuation with everything literary has expanded his interests beyond merely bathroom limericks. He is excelling in his Creative Writing 392: Fridge Magnet Composition course and is currently finishing an application to attend graduate school at the University of Rhode Island in the nascent field of meme technique in the late modern period.

“My thesis proposal is to attempt to prove that ‘what-in-tarnation’ memes in fact represent a literary tradition that can be traced as far back as Dante — very exciting stuff,” MacPherson said.

At the time of print, MacPherson is petitioning the U of S English department to include a compulsory 100-level McDonald’s picture-menu reading class in their 2017-18 course offerings.