The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

Fake News: Agriculture students suck shit, warns engineering department study

By in Distractions

ENGINEERING BUILDING — A groundbreaking new study from the University of Saskatchewan College of Engineering shows that the College of Agriculture and Bioresources is for a bunch of dumb, stupid morons. While the implications of the findings are unclear and the purpose of the study unknown, the U of S is buzzing nonetheless.

For engineering student Antle Bjorn, the development is revolutionary.

“It’s been a contested theory for years, but now that we have definitive, concrete proof that agriculture students are all dirty little twerps who are jerks to everybody, I think you’re really going to see a shift in how society views student interactions here on the U of S campus,” Bjorn said.

The study — seemingly conducted simply by asking engineering students what they think of agriculture students — also comes on the heels of the College of Agricultures controversial 2016 panel, title Jealous Pencil Pushers and Why Theyre Idiots.

Discussing the findings of the engineering report, College of Agriculture and Bioresources Dean Teri Fleischer expressed skepticism.

“How would they know we’re ‘all stinky nerds who hate good people’ without first conducting more thorough research?” Fleischer said. “This is simply engineering students being lazy, sloppy bullies who like to pick fights all the time.”

The Sheaf wishes to stay out of the dispute.

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