What a hell hole.

‘Tis the season to be jolly, drink through family functions and forget the bad times and remember the good.

Around this time of year students lose their minds over final assignments and looming exams. Proud homeowners paste domestic dens and shrubbery with every kind of twinkly light imaginable. Grandparents shuffle and wheel around grocery stores, attempting to find the best-priced sale items with which to feed their families over the holiday season. Drivers evidently completely forget what they’re doing.

Everyone attacks their shopping lists with gusto and determination.

The mall is truly an enchanting place this time of year. There, you can hear the stylings of holiday music goddess Mariah Carey while maxing out your credit cards.

Why would you do such a thing? In order to please your loved ones with over-priced gifts, of course! Electronics, sporting goods, fancy soaps and clothes all get snapped up by eager-to-please consumers.

Somewhere between Frosty’s magical day in the snow, Jesus’s birth in a manger, Justin Bieber’s holiday album and the influx of sexy Santa lingerie, we’ve lost the true meaning of Christmas — those of us who celebrate it, of course.

Spending time with family has been replaced by competitive gift-giving as the all-important holiday ritual. Before you buy gifts for a friend or family member, price caps must be discussed because God forbid one person might spend more than the other.

Admittedly, my point of view is that of a middle-class white kid who’s always had presents to open on Christmas morning, so perhaps I overlook the merits of gift-giving for people in other circumstances.

I certainly think there is some value in giving gifts, but many people miss the mark nowadays.

For starters, we usually give our parents and loved ones lists.

“I want this, this and this.” The worst is when someone calls or texts you to ask, “Where do you want a gift card from?”

I even know a few people who just get cheques for Christmas. Give me a break. Where’s the fun or mystery in that?

There is none. Put some effort into it, people!

I like sentimental gifts, gifts someone purchases or makes with you in mind. Receiving those gifts means more than opening up all of your presents simply to accomplish the task of making sure mom and dad bought you everything on your goddamn list.

Now, I just want a gift that means something. Give me a black-and-white photo of my grandparents, or a book that you think I’ll like with a nice note written inside.

These are the gifts I’ll remember and appreciate.

One of my friends once gave her significant other a box of playing cards, and written on each card was a reason why she loved him. So fucking cute, right? My heart just melts into a little ball of candy cane mush when I hear stuff like that. Even Satan would smile if he got “52 reasons why I love you” under the Christmas tree.

I know there are commercial gifts that everyone wants; it’s an inevitability of the holiday season. But try to think outside the box for at least one gift.

I typically get my parents an item from their lists, but also something sentimental to mix things up.

Two years ago I found an old picture of my mom and her best friend who’d recently passed away. I had it blown up and dry-mounted. It was an emotional Christmas morning to say the least, but it’s a gift she truly appreciates and looks at daily.

Christmas lists are nice and all, but that’s not the point of gift-giving. It’s more than that. Show someone you care in unconventional ways, even if that just means writing a nice card to accompany the sexy Santa lingerie you purchased for them.

If you really want to appreciate the season, you might as well throw your list in the trash and enjoy whatever it is you receive.

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Photo: Mikono/Flickr
Illustration: Samantha Braun/The Sheaf